Thursday, October 25, 2007

He's a Hoare

No amount of opiates and daytime tv can compensate for the pain silky-D is in right now as he battles to recover from his prolapsed disc. This is what you get when you fly economy (as Radiohead once said). Please pray for me, Squid Army... your generous gifts of flowers, fruit and reading material have been truly appreciated (or at least they will be as soon as they arrive). The very firm but fair Dr J.S Hoare from the Altona medical centre has ordered bed rest and the uber-professional Natalie from Yarraville Physiotherapy has instructed that there will be no jumping off the Marshall Stack and ripping shit up for a while at least (also no sitting and no walking, which are lesser but still significant restrictions). The panadeine forte and valium has my wits suitably dulled and I am feeling lke a younger, hotter Rose Porteous. I'm alread sick of watching Dr Phil. I need something to read... any recommendations will be gratefully received. My home -- always previously a sanctuary from the pressures of work and life -- is suddenly transformed into a spinal Guantanamo Bay. I'd call it a concentration camp if it wasn't for the fact that I'm so dope-addled I can't concentrate on anything right now.

and also, it would be inapropriate to make jokes about such things.

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Spine Tingling

If only we really were invertebrates like our namesakes...then Silky would not be fighting for his life in a town near Adelaide. Lying on a couch with a prolapsed disk is not a common posture for a cephalopod but with the melange of pain-killers and tranquilisers in his blood stream Silky may believe himself to be all manner of things including spineless (not suggesting Silky is in anyway spineless). So this is a message to the fans (fan? possibly no one) to let them know that a calamity has struck and we are on hiatus for a couple of weeks whilst we get Lengthy Squid back on his feet.
Don't worry, we are busy in the meantime...Crafty is hot on the cover art...Paddy is perfecting his five bass orchestra tribute to Lisa "Left-Eye" Lopes...and I am working, with the help of the local furry squids, on a lead-free poultice for Silky.

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Thursday, October 18, 2007

Gigs: How Necessary Are They?

Good question...I'm glad you asked. Are you really in a band if you play only three gigs in over a year? Admittedly, to give us our due, they have been evenly spaced over that period, but I am not sure that counts for too much.
Rehearals have been cancelled by every band member except Paddy and he may have been intending to cancel one of those but was beaten to the punch by his anxious and sickly band mates. Things are looking a little much time is being spent on facebook rather than the blog that Crafty was forced to post.
SO!Fortunately we have a plan each band member has undertaken to to organise some kind of gig*. Paddy will take a demo to the Brunswick Hotel, Me to the Tote, Dan to the Commercial Hotel and Crafty to a pub of his choice. Excitingly, they have all promised to do it by the time they get to rehearsal next Monday**. This sounds agressive, I know, but we are an agressive band who definitely needs some match practice prior to the CD launch.

*This is not true but I am trying to force the issue.

**This is also not true but I am trying to force the issue.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Liquid Squid

It was a fine day on Saturday when Crafty Brew 1 was bottled in a small Yarraville kitchen.
The Squids' first foray into the world of championship beer brewing has resulted in a fairly cloudy, strong (5.7%) and slightly bitter pilsner.
After 6-8 weeks of carbonating in the bottle the Dudes should be rockin' even harder thanks to the new brew.
*Actual product may vary from picture
P.S.I'm back.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Hinny Comes In Handy

A young colt at work approached me with the exciting news that he had used 'hinny' in a game of scrabulous. Possibly you, like me, had never heard of scrabulous...well it's scrabble only online. Chris, (for it is he!) veteran of the Squid Ink live circuit, deployed it to great effect over a double word score only for some brigand to challenge it as a word. That ne'er-do-well just cost himself his turn for his trouble! He now knows, as we do, that hinnies are all too real!

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Monday, October 01, 2007


As Big Chief Squid Wrangler I have been constructing a platform for when the Emperor Squid descends. In the meantime I thought it prudent to put on a music festival. I approached Clare Bowditch to headline Thornstock! but she rebuffed me as she is moving to Coburg and is already in bed with the organisers of Coburg Daze.
Fortunately, Mama Tedium was on hand to rock the crowd made up almost exclusively of Papa Tedium. Keen observers will recognise the local furry squids busying themselves in preparation for the Emperor Squid's landing.
The Squids had taken the stage earlier in the day and Paddy, looking splendid in his skeleton suit, played a three-hour solo bass tribute to Leonard Bernstein.