Tuesday, September 05, 2006

ICE

I found this on this web site and I felt I should share. I am not given to internet humour or jokes of any kind but I doff my cap to my namesake.

IMPLAUSIBLE CLAIMS
MADE BY VANILLA ICE
IN HIS 1990 NO. 1 HIT
"ICE ICE BABY."
By Doug Erickson

"Ice is back with my brand-new invention."

"Turn off the lights and I'll glow."

"I rock a mike like a vandal."

"I'm killin' your brain like a poisonous mushroom."

"I'm cooking MCs like a pound of bacon."

"I go crazy when I hear a cymbal and a high hat."

"I grabbed my nine."

"I'm a lyrical poet."

"My style's like a chemical spill."

"If my rhyme was a drug, I'd sell it by the gram."

"If there was a problem, yo, I'll solve it."

2 Comments:

Blogger silky-D said...

I do so like McSweeney's genteel brand of oddball satire. He did rock a mic like a vandal though, definitely.

5/9/06 21:32  
Blogger silky-D said...

closer inspection reveals that the author of this piece has the lyrics as: "rock a Mike like a vandal" which surely begs the question: Mike who?
Tyson? Munro? Mike D?

6/9/06 14:35  

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