ICE
I found this on this web site and I felt I should share. I am not given to internet humour or jokes of any kind but I doff my cap to my namesake.
IMPLAUSIBLE CLAIMS
MADE BY VANILLA ICE
IN HIS 1990 NO. 1 HIT
"ICE ICE BABY."
By Doug Erickson
"Ice is back with my brand-new invention."
"Turn off the lights and I'll glow."
"I rock a mike like a vandal."
"I'm killin' your brain like a poisonous mushroom."
"I'm cooking MCs like a pound of bacon."
"I go crazy when I hear a cymbal and a high hat."
"I grabbed my nine."
"I'm a lyrical poet."
"My style's like a chemical spill."
"If my rhyme was a drug, I'd sell it by the gram."
"If there was a problem, yo, I'll solve it."
IMPLAUSIBLE CLAIMS
MADE BY VANILLA ICE
IN HIS 1990 NO. 1 HIT
"ICE ICE BABY."
By Doug Erickson
"Ice is back with my brand-new invention."
"Turn off the lights and I'll glow."
"I rock a mike like a vandal."
"I'm killin' your brain like a poisonous mushroom."
"I'm cooking MCs like a pound of bacon."
"I go crazy when I hear a cymbal and a high hat."
"I grabbed my nine."
"I'm a lyrical poet."
"My style's like a chemical spill."
"If my rhyme was a drug, I'd sell it by the gram."
"If there was a problem, yo, I'll solve it."
posted by Unrelenting Tedium at 8:13 pm
2 Comments:
I do so like McSweeney's genteel brand of oddball satire. He did rock a mic like a vandal though, definitely.
closer inspection reveals that the author of this piece has the lyrics as: "rock a Mike like a vandal" which surely begs the question: Mike who?
Tyson? Munro? Mike D?
Post a Comment
<< Home