Guitar Gulag
V1.
Mark Knopfler is peeling kipflers
Ritchie Blackmore's in with Hitler
Slowhand is in solitude
for his Enoch Powell attitude
Chorus
For crimes against the strings
For crimes against the picks
You're goung down for a stretch
Longer than the neck
On a Fender Six
V.2
Tony Iommi's in the dock
Pete Townshend's breaking rocks
Angus Young's got what it takes
to make a Jailbreak
Mark Knopfler is peeling kipflers
Ritchie Blackmore's in with Hitler
Slowhand is in solitude
for his Enoch Powell attitude
Chorus
For crimes against the strings
For crimes against the picks
You're goung down for a stretch
Longer than the neck
On a Fender Six
V.2
Tony Iommi's in the dock
Pete Townshend's breaking rocks
Angus Young's got what it takes
to make a Jailbreak
posted by Unrelenting Tedium at 11:03 pm
10 Comments:
Nice one.
I also have been kicking around some guitar gulag ideas. I had a chorus bit which aint as good as yours but I reckon could work as a sort of bridge part coming out of the chorus. I especially reckon the words "guitar gulag" need to be in there somewhere.
My verse pattern was eeriily similar to yours so could fit with minimal tweaks, which I have just made.
I think it would be nice to quote the axemen's riffs where apropriate (so at the end of the Angus line we switch to the Jailbreak riff for a coupla bars)
so it would go
V1.
Mark Knopfler's peeling kipflers
Ritchie Blackmore's in with Hitler
Slowhand is in solitude
for his Enoch Powell attitude
Chorus
For crimes against the strings
For crimes against the picks
You're goung down for a stretch
Longer than the neck
On a Fender Six
Don't fret, don't fret
You haven't got there yet
life really is a drag
at the guitar gulag
V.2
Tony Iommi's in the dock
Pete Townshend's breaking rocks
Angus Young's got what it takes
to make a Jailbreak
V.3
Steve Vai's in re-education
charged with guitar masturbation
Keef is pressing number plates
charged with crimes against the state
OF SOBRIETY!
(this bit shouted out with Joe Strummer-type accent, maybe by all four of us)
plus more verses as apropriate.
Wow! This is really taking shape. Thanks for over looking the obvious question of why Hitler would be in the Guitar Gulag. I was so happy with the Knopfler/Kipfler bit that I was determined to force it in.
I think we get away with the Hitler line because of the song's roguish charm.
Kim didn't know who Enoch Powell was (and she has a PhD) but I like it and think it'll go down well with our UK fans (especially if we ever get to do one of those Rock Against Racism gigs).
Paddy suspiciously silent on the whole topic of guitar gulag...
I was reminded of the incident ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_Clapton#Controversy ) on last week's Skull Cave quiz (in fact I was the next caller in the queue before the bozzo in front was given sooo many clues by the Ghost that he couldn't get it wrong....frustrating....but I was home by myself and no one saw me weep). There are a multitude of reasons for Clapton to be in the Gulag (how did he fall so far from his Cream days??? Recording songs with Babyface for pete's sake!!!) but this one takes the cake.
On the train coming in I thought I had an excellent verse about Def Leppard being in Siberia, pounding out Hysteria, until I realised (with horror) that I WAS quoting Jukebox in Siberia. MY WORST FEARS HAD COME TRUE.
So I subbed in this, possibly defamatory, replacement.
V.4
In the corner, there's Chuck Berry
pedophile extraordinary
Brian May's in cell block three
He really does want to break free
Now that we are aiming this as a dirty b-side and rarities track rather than the solid gold hit it started out as here is some more.
A sort of building outro, perhaps over a spriralling bass riff.
Van Halen counts the hours
til he gets Hagar in the showers
Satriani is snitch
But Malmsteen is his bitch
Scott Gorhams in the stocks
And Garry Moore is sucking cocks
now that's just tawdry.
if Van Halen was impalin' anyone
it'd surely be Diamond Dave Le Roth
Fair point but the reason I chose Hagar is that he is a guitarist, and definitely one worthy of the Gulag. I draw your attention to Eddie moving on to keys for Why Can't This be Love and Sammy playing lead. How did this happen? Why was there no enquiry? Many consider him a laughing stock but Eddie was responsible for changing the way many people played guitar (in my not-overly-humble opinion) and for him to step aside for just about anyone to play a lead break in the band that carries his name defies logic....sorry for a moment I though I was on my other blog and started ranting.
well they don't call you relenting tedium.
I still think this can be a solid gold hit with a little tweaking.
> Paddy suspiciously silent on the whole topic of guitar gulag…
There is some fine work here certainly but suddenly it seems the band has turned into some kind of comedy act. I do tend to stay silent when such things happen.
But if you can't beat them:
Hoping Stalin's gonna grant them
freedom Hendrix plays the anthem
Jimmy Page hasn't long to live
Now Kirk Hammett's made a shiv
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